Thursday, January 26, 2012

Wishes from Heaven

Life can take us through different paths from time to time. Today we could be happy, but one second could change our entire life. We could go from a great life to no life. That is exactly what happened to me. One year ago, on my wedding day I was so sure I would spend all eternity with my beloved husband, Ben. I embraced his love as I took my oath at the altar, as I said "I do." At that time I didn't know what God had planned for us that it would be so different from what we had planned for ourselves. But life had changed in a way that I had never imagined. Life had separated us in a way I had never thought.

We were happy for three months after marriage. I woke up every morning, prepared a nice cup of tea for Ben, and we got ready to go to work. Ben drove me to work, and once he dropped me off he would drive himself to work. Our way back home was the same. He picked me up from office on his way home. I loved Ben more than ever. He was the best husband anyone could ever ask for, and he loved me dearly. But unfortunately fate had come in between us.

It was a nice sunny Saturday. We were tired of a week of hard work. Ben and I had decided to take a trip to the south. I didn't know my life would end that day when Ben pulled the car out of the garage. He drove, with me seated on his left, chatting and laughing as we always do. I was so happy I had found him. He made my life complete. Suddenly out of the blue I felt something wrong was going to happen. Ben took a turn and suddenly I looked out of the window. A bus was speeding towards us. I screamed. Ben lost control of the car as the bus crashed at me. The car was pushed out of the way, spinning.

"Ben," I whispered. I felt my heart beat rising and my breath tightening. Blood was dripping down my forehead.
"Rachel, I'm here honey," Ben held my hand tightly. I knew he was stuck in his seat and he could not move towards me. Then, everything went black.

I watched Ben open his eyes. The doctor was right beside him. Thank God! Ben had severe injuries but he had survived the accident. He would get better. I sat beside him on his bed and tried to hold his hand, but I couldn't. My hand passed right through his hand. I understood everything at once and a tear escaped my eye. God had called me. From the corner of my eye I saw a black figure standing behind me. I turned to look at him. He was dressed in full black but he was glowing. An angel, I understood. He was the angel of death, and he had come for me. My beloved husband survived the crash, but I had to go. I had not survived. I had died.

Ever since I had left him that day I had constantly watched over him. I had turned into his guardian angel. I had invisibly followed him everywhere he went. I had looked after him. It had crushed me to watch him cry sometimes in the middle of the night screaming out my name. "Rachel!" he screamed one night as he dreamt our accident. I could see his dream and feel his pain. It hurt me too. I didn't like to watch him suffer.

Today it was our first wedding anniversary, and I was not with Ben. Tragically I had to leave him alone in this world. I watched Ben get out of bed early morning and go to church. He prayed for me. It made me feel good. He had lighted few candles in my name. He had asked God to look after me wherever I was. He had told God that he still loves me and forever will. It was our anniversary; I wanted to give him something. I wanted to give him a big hug. I wanted to give him a kiss and say I love you, and for that I needed permission. I needed God's permission to make myself visible to Ben just one time.

I watched Ben get home. He took a wash and came to our bedroom. I was sitting on the bed. Ben looked at me and his eyes went wide.

"Rachel," he said. I smiled. He could see me. Thank you God for giving me this chance. I prayed silently.
"Ben," I said, as I ran towards him and hugged him. "Happy anniversary darling!"
I watched as a tear curled up in Ben's eyes. He blinked it away and forced a smile. He needed me, I knew. But God had only given me five minutes.

"Ben, I know I'm not around anymore. But I want you to be happy. I want you to enjoy your life." I said.
"I need you Rachel," He said.
"I know," I said. "But I will always be with you. I have always been with you. Ever since the day of the accident I have followed you everywhere." I said. "It's just that you could never see me."
"I can see you now," he said. "Stay with me Rachel."
"I can’t Ben," I said. "I only have five minutes to be visible. Then I have to go back."
"I love you Rachel," Ben said. We hugged.
"I know," I said. "I love you too."

I moved away. Ben stared at me as I faded away into the thin air. I watched him cry silently. I was invisible again. But I felt good. I know Ben was feeling better too. It was our anniversary and God had let us meet one last time.

"Happy anniversary darling!" I whispered again as I disappeared back into heaven.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Fire Angel


Fire! It was all I could see. In front of me, behind me and all around me. It felt so warm surrounding me. I was standing in the middle of my room in a circle of fire. But I was not afraid. I was happy. I had inner peace. It will all be over soon, my mind said. The fire, though surrounded me, had not reached me yet. But it would reach me soon. I would soon turn into ash. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander towards the place I loved the most.

I was in the beach running away from the rough waves. You ran towards me and held me from waist. We laughed, screamed and played with the water. You carried me with your strong and steady arms. You walked closer to the water and dropped me in. I swam away shouting at you, annoyed. You laughed. Your laughter was like music to my ears. It made me laugh back. I swam back towards you. You carried me out of the water, smiling. I put my hands around your neck, holding you tight in case you were to drop me again. It had been such a beautiful day. The sun was setting behind us, waving goodbye. I missed you!

My eyes opened for the sudden burn in my arm. The fire had finally reached me. The fire had touched my sleeve and my arm. The pain on my skin reminded me of the day my heart caught on fire.

"I can’t be with you anymore!" You had said.
"But why?" I had asked. "Do you not love me anymore?"
"I do! But try to understand me! You have to leave me!" You had said. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. A silent tear escaped your eye. This had made me cry even harder. I hugged you tightly, never wanting to let go.

You had wrapped your arms around me and said "I'm sorry".
"Don’t apologize," I had said. "It is not your fault!"
We had hugged and cried for hours, just like the fire was hugging me now. My heart had burnt, just like my flesh was burning now.

Smoke surrounded me and I started coughing. A gust of smoke went through my nose and into my lungs. I looked around. All I could see was fire and smoke. "Goodbye cruel world!" I said as I felt my body falling onto the ground. Then everything went black.

I opened my eyes. White! Everything was white! where was I? Heaven? No! Can't be! Would I go to heaven? I tried to stand but I couldn't move my body. Where was I? My vision started becoming clearer. I was on a bed! There was someone standing and looking at me. I blinked. I could see wires and bandages on my limbs. A saline tube was hanging just above my bed. I finally understood where I was. I was in a hospital! I had survived the fire! Unbelievable!

I looked around! A man in white was standing next to me. I guessed he was my doctor. But I didn't want a doctor right now. I needed you! Where were you?

"Miss, how do you feel?" The doctor asked. I nodded my head to let him know I was ok.
"You have a visitor. He was here all week." The doctor said. All week? I had been unconscious for a week? "I will let him in miss, but please don't try to talk." The doctor said. I nodded again in agreement. The doctor disappeared out of the room. For a moment I was alone.

I looked at the door. My visitor was walking towards me. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was you! You had come back! Joy overwhelmed my heart. The pain I had turned into joy.

You came and touched my bandaged arm. "You burnt yourself!" you said to me. "You tried to kill yourself!" I was sad again. I looked away. I didn't want to look at your eyes. I had promised you I would be ok, but I had betrayed you. You came towards me and turned my face towards you.

"Listen to me." You said. "I will never leave you ever again!" I could not believe what I was hearing. You had just told me that you wouldn't leave. Tears of joy curled up in my eyes!

"I can't let you suffer!" You said. "I will stay with you forever" I was confused. What about the problem? I wanted to ask. I opened my mouth but no words came out.
"Don’t talk!" you advised. "Our problems are over! I can be with you!" You said. " I forced a smile out of my cheeks. "I will never let you go through any pain again!"

You had come back to me. Just like my dream. My prayers had been answered. I may have been burnt and I may have to suffer till recovery. But you were back! It made me the happiest girl ever! The fire had brought me good luck! The fire had brought me my angel back!


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