You're not alone!

I looked at his face as he held my hand. He was as white as a ghost and his tiny little hand was shivering against mine. He looked up at me with eyes full of tears. I knelt down beside him and wiped his tears. He had been through too much for a seven year old.

“Don’t worry Nathan! It’s going to be ok,” I managed to say. He nodded, speechless. I stood up and turned back to face the room full of crowded people. Everyone’s eyes were glued on the little boy standing beside me. I sighed. Can’t these people just stop staring? Didn’t they know that they are freaking him out?

“Come on Nathan,” I said as I walked towards the front of the court room, Nathan following beside me. We took our seats in the second row, facing the judge. I could feel everyone’s gaze fixed on us. On Nathan...! The little boy who got stuck in between his parent’s divorce! This is far too much pressure for a seven year old. But he was handling it well, I thought. He was a strong kid.

I closed my eyes and pictured the first day I looked at the little boy sitting next to me. His mother, Jessie, was one of my best friends. I had known her since first grade. I was by Jessie’s side when she had delivered. Jessie’s husband, Matt, was mostly away; out of the country on business matters. He had not been around when Jessie had given birth to their son. He had been too busy to even come down when he heard his son’s name. Jessie had named me Nathan’s God mother, and right now I was doing exactly what a good God mother should do. I was looking after Nathan, guarding him, loving him, supporting him throughout his parent’s divorce. But there was one problem... Jessie and Matt could divide anything between them, but how could they divide Nathan?

“Rianna,” Nathan said, as he held on to my hand tightly. I looked at him. “Will this end everything?” he asked innocently. “Will mom and dad stop fighting after today?” I felt my heart burn with affection for the little boy. I nodded, forcing a smile on myself.
“And they would be together? Is that what the judge is going to do? Ask mom and dad to stop fighting?” I didn’t answer, but smiled at him. Nathan seemed happier after that, but only for a little while.

I watched Nathan cry silently as the case began. Lawyers spoke in and out about Matt and Jessie, and about all the bad things they have done to each other. Matt and Jessie were there, but both of them seemed to be more interested in thrashing words at each other, rather than giving one loving look at their son. I put my hand around Nathan’s shoulder. He cried harder and harder. In few minutes, the decision was made. Jessie and Matt were legally separated! But then, the hard part arrived. Who will have Nathan?

Jessie’s lawyer argued by saying how Jessie had always looked after Nathan whenever Matt was away. She had given birth without her husband by her side! Matt’s lawyer argued by saying Jessie couldn’t have afforded a good hospital to give birth if Matt hadn’t worked so hard. Also whenever Matt came home after long trips he used to bring a separate luggage full of gifts for his son.

“Being rich is not everything!” Jessie’s lawyer said. “A child wants his father to be there!”
“Matt has been a good father!” Matt’s lawyer said. “Why don’t we ask Nathan who loves him most!” The crowd turned to look at the judge, who was thoughtful for a moment.
“That’s it!” The judge said. “We shall ask the child! Nathan, could you please walk up to me, son?” He was looking directly at Nathan.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I stood up to escort Nathan towards the judge. Nathan stood up, tears still rolling down his tiny little cheeks.

“You can tell the judge exactly what you want ok?” I whispered to him as we walked towards the judge.
“Nathan,” the judge said loud and clear. Everyone looked up, eager to hear what was coming next. “Who do you love the most in this world?”
“My mom and dad!” The innocent little voice answered.
“If I asked, who do you love the most out of your mom and dad, who would you chose? You can chose only one of them,” The judge asked. I felt Nathan’s heartbeat rising. “Answer me Nathan.” The judge’s voice was kind, but steady.
“I love both of them!” Nathan answered. I looked at Jessie and Matt from the corner of my eye. Jessie was crying, and Matt looked crushed. At least they loved their son even a little bit.
“I love both of them, and I want both of them!” he screamed. “Please don’t separate my parents!” Nathan started crying until he couldn’t speak.
“Your honour! This is too much for a little boy to take!” I told the judge, as I carried Nathan back to our seats. He didn’t argue.

Finally the decision was made. The decision shocked all of us. Until Matt and Jessie came to an agreement on who took Nathan, he was to stay under custody! They would find a foster care home for him. I didn’t like it. I thought for a moment, and before I realised what I was doing, I stood up.

“I’ll take care of him!” I said. I felt the crowd watch me with oooh’s and aaah’s from the last row. “He doesn’t have to stay with a bunch of people he doesn’t know! I’ve looked after him for as long as I can remember! I can do this!”

There was a moment of silence. The judge and the lawyers of both parties engaged themselves in a silent conversation. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the lawyers moved back and the judge cleared his throat.

“Very well!” he said. “I believe you are his God mother?”
“Yes!” I answered.
“Nathan will live with you, until his parents come to an agreement,” The judge said. “You will treat him as your own, and his parents are allowed to visit at any time!” I nodded as I smiled. I looked at Nathan, and I felt happy that he was wiping all his tears. The decision was finalised.

I took Nathan home with me that night. Matt and Jessie never came to an agreement, but kept on fighting. They visited Nathan often, but after couple of years they reduced the number of visits, until they completely stopped coming. Later on I heard they had both re married. But it didn’t bother me! I was happy, and so was Nathan. He loved me as much as he loved his own mother or even more. He never complained once, but was grateful that I had taken him in when he needed someone the most. He was not alone, and neither was I. I had made his life perfect! And today he was a sixteen year old, getting ready for his first date. I watched him dress up. I let him borrow my car.

“I’ll be home soon,” he said, and I smiled.
“Enjoy!” I said, as I kissed him on the cheek, before I watched him disappear out of the door.